Gamer Column

Game Over...again

Lesson #1 when playing video games is that EVERYTHING wants to kill you. Whether it is over and over again in a sadistic barrage of torment or with a cutesy animated message and an ever so slightly maddening musical accompaniment; lesson #2 is how you deal with the drama.

It always helps when the developers have a sense of humour. One that can make ‘passing on’ to a different plain a somewhat pleasant experience, but I can confidently bet my opposable thumbs that every single one of you lot has wanted to throw your mouse / controller at someone /thing, whilst taunted in some fashion at your failure.

I’ve gathered together a few of the standout game-over gibes from over the years and genres. Some so completely retro you may well have forgotten through life’s fog, and some contemporaries you may fail to recall too but for a wholly different reason.

Fear Effect

The first annoyance on the list is Fear Effect. Whether it is 1 or 2, they both feature frustratingly long cut-scenes where the gore comes in abundance. Awesome. Heavily documented on YouTube; being shot in the head, eaten by killer rats or taking a dose of nerve gas is all too easy to come by.

Dark Souls

It makes sense to most that death should be a huge part of the gaming experience and it has to infuriate or entertain you enough to want to continue. Many titles have made me quit completely and never again continue or reload. The closest any game has dared tread this line is Dark Souls. It is well documented how much of a sadomasochist you have to be to get any real enjoyment out of the death in Dark Souls, but you soon learn that it is self-inflicted. Take a breather; it’s all your fault and start again as “YOU DIED”.

Batman: Arkham City

Whilst combat isn’t terribly complex in Batman and button smashing can be employed by the n00best of gamers, death in Batman: Arkham City is just vexatious. Luckily the cut-scenes here cool your temper quickly and the mocking can leave you with a score to settle. Very clever Warner Bros. Very clever.

Half Life 2

Have you have ever played an MMORPG and come to the end of your tether? Maybe you miss your real life or paying for the monthly subscriptions has made you sell your organs.There comes the time

when you announce your departure out loud online and you’re met with a torrent of “dibs on your gear” by polite fellow gamers.

Half-Life 2 NPCs have the same mannerisms. Some might call it rude but the Rebels love calling dibs on your suit upon your death. If you manage dying that is entirely your own doing then you’re met with “'Mission terminated: Subject demonstrated extremely poor judgement'. That may be a little impolite.

Sega Rally Championship

It’s the jingle. That god damn jingle.

Quake

Double entendres can take a bad situation and put a sexy spin on it. In the depths of despair your filthy mind can be transported elsewhere, which is handy whilst playing Quake. With a different message for every occasion, even suicide, death becomes a way to lighten the mood.

"Weenie sleeps with the fishes" and "Weenie sucks it down" – You’re drowning

"Weenie discharges into the water" – Get your mind out of the gutter! It means you stupidly fired your lightening gun under water.

"Weenie becomes bored with life" and "Weenie checks if his weapon is loaded" - blatant suicide.

"Weenie chewed on Fraggod's boomstick" - Shotgun death.

"Weenie ate 2 loads of Fraggod's buckshot” - Super shotgun death.

"Weenie was nailed by Fraggod” – Nail-gun death.

"Weenie was punctured by Fraggod” - Super nail-gun death.

"Weenie eats Fraggod's pineapple" and "Weenie was gibed by Fraggod's grenade” - Grenade launcher death.

"Weenie rides Fraggod's rocket” - Rocket launcher death.

"Fraggod accepts Weenie's discharge" and "Weenie accepts Fraggod's shaft” – Lightening gun death.

Super Meat Boy

Flick through the dictionary to ‘infuriating’ and there you may well find “Super Meat Boy”. A colourful cutesy, yet utterly maddening indie game gone global that will push you to the brink of insanity.

Crash Bandicoot 2

We all played it and we all loved it but how many of us wanted to beat the TV with our fists when Crash failed us. The short yet desperately annoying cut scene frequented the screen too often and too damn easily. “Woooah” Aggggghhhhh give me strength.

Leisure Suit Larry

Sierra leads the pack amongst death scene delegates and Leisure Suit Larry is the stand out winner. Being one of the first video games I ever absolutely enjoyed as a young gamer, the numerous death animations remind me how humour can be lost amongst the “AAA” game developers around these days.

You can die in the first minute whilst playing Dark Souls but do you get taken under ground, fitted with a new head, given a pat on the back and sent back on your way? No. There is wit in death. You just have to look for it.

With games being made so devilishly difficult, even in the arcades, why have developers all but forgotten the charm and inspiration failure can bring, with the "pick-yourself-up-and-dust-yourself-down” mentality having been replaced with pure evil competition? At least give us a giggle to make us forget the shame.

Rachel Rees
News Editor http://www.gamedot.co.uk
@Reesters
@Gamedot