GURL GAMERZ

I’d like to begin this article by stating straight off the bat that there’s nothing wrong with being female and playing video games. Lord knows that every relationship I’ve ever been in I’ve worked fervently to get them to be player 2, but usually they’re too busy jetting around the world en route to different supermodelling gigs to have time for gaming with me.

This article isn’t going to be a diatribe or a rant about how much I hate women, simply because I don’t. This said, there is one kind of woman who, as gamers, we have all encountered at one point or another:

The GURL GAMER.

This elusive beast sits, usually on her boyfriend’s Xbox, and tries her damndest to let you know at all times that she’s a girl. Her gamertag might be xXSexi_H0ll1eXx, or her gamer picture might be Joanna Dark, or (in the worst cases) her profile might be dedicated to how much she loves ’8-bit games like Super Mario World.’ If you encounter one of these women then it’s usually time to change game because they will, invariably, make you want to put a knife in your mouth and bite down.

They might belong to a community like http://www.gamingangels.com/- a Website that claims to want to tear down sexism in gaming, but doesn’t employ any male writers or gamers to their team. They might be in a girl-only clan like ‘PMS’ (a Halo clan with a no-boys-allowed policy). Or they might post on Facebook endlessly about Final Fantasy VII to try to attract the attentions of men (who will then post endless replies usually along the lines of OMG UR SO MUCH LIEK TIFA). They might even post pictures of themselves online with some kind of gaming accessory while trying to look SMOKING HOT AND TOTALLY BISEXUAL GUYS .

I despise these individuals.

This isn’t because I’m a sexist- it’s quite the opposite, in fact. By providing us with this vapid “oh my God look I’m a girl who’s playing games!” persona they are taking away credibility from the women out there who genuinely play and enjoy video games. Nearly half of the people who play video games these days are female (if you take Farmville into account) and this makes literally no difference to their ability or enjoyment of the game. Sure, there are very few games aimed specifically at a “female audience”, but can we honestly say that games are aimed at a primarily “male audience” any more?

I’m aware that Duke Nukem and his ilk exists, before you say “yes we can, you’re an idiot”.

I’m not talking about Cooking Mama or Pippa Funnel’s Horse Simulator, I’m referring to an evolution of video games as a whole. Female characters in gaming are becoming stronger and stronger, and in many cases it’s not just a matter of being a big burly man and saving all the ladies from the aliens any more: Even male characters are evolving a depth that is relatable on a human level rather than on a gender-specific testosterone-fueled chest-hair level (Dom in Gears of War 2 for example).

Perhaps if more ‘normal women’ played games and actually talked about it reasonably- oh wait, they do. You just never noticed them because they’re normal people, like you or I and therein lies the problem. It’s GURL GAMERS that ruin it for girls who actually play games rather than talking about them to their admirers on Facebook. GURL GAMERS are mostly in it for the attention, not the gameplay or plot, or the moving character evolution that many games provide us today.

They call men sexist, and make posts usually pertaining to abuse they receive on Halo 3 telling them to show their breasts, but those comments are made by men as small-minded as they are in the long run, so who cares? If you’re getting abuse on an online game for ANY REASON then you can just beat them and be like “lol you got beaten by a girl”, and people will respect that far more than whining.

All in all I just want women to get a fair shake, but that means leveling the playing field, not putting them on a pedestal for enjoying a hobby which is open to everyone.

Btw you should all buy Deus Ex: Human Revolution this month. If you don’t you’re a moron. That is all.

Toby Ellis